These past couple of weeks have been really exciting, scary, heartbreaking, fun and strange but most of all they have been a HUGE eye opener to me.
If you've read previous posts you may see that I've been kind of a downer! I felt bad about my situation, my love life, my lack of a love life, not being able to go to school, my friends moving away etc etc. all these "terrible" things that have happened to me and I felt like I had no control.
Through these last weeks however, I've come to find a new perspective on my life! Because it's too short!! I had a huge slap in the face to wake up and enjoy every moment I get to breathe! I'm healthy, my family loves me, I have a house to live in, a brain in my head and my WHOLE LIFE ahead of me! :)
But these realizations didn't just come, it wasn't a big boom everything is fixed, because its not. in fact its getting harder! What did change, was my decision to take control of the little things that I can. Elder Holland has this awesome quote from a talk that he gave at a BYU devotional a while back, but as soon as I read it, it stuck!
"the future is something that must be vigorously fought for, it won't just happen to your advantage."
this hit me so hard! I had been in a boat for the past 6 months going down a river with no control of which way I went. and Elder Holland's quote just helped me pick up the flippin oar that was sitting right beside me the entire time. So I started paddling my way through this rocky river. I changed 10 simple things in my life and I feel happier than ever!
1. Got another job and started saving every penny I've earned to pay for school in the fall.
2. Declared my major and set up a 5 year plan for my schooling.
3. Started reading my scriptures every night after I had prayed and looked for an answer to a question.
(the answer hasn't always come, but it's helped me to study the words harder and look for a meaning)
4. Started getting up early to read scriptures with my family
5. Looked for 10 things everyday that I was happy about
6. Put myself back on a the work out schedule I was on when I swam in high school.
7. Made an effort to meet new people.
8. Kept my room clean.
(it made my mom happy and gave me a quiet place to think)
9. Let people I care about know that I did.
(simple text, a note left, small service acts like cookies or a made bed, or dishes when it wasn't my night)
10. Woke up with the WILL to change how my life was going everyday and promised myself I wouldn't get back in bed that night until I had done something kind for someone else or taken a step closer to my brighter future.
10 steps might seem like a lot, but they become easier after the first week or so. My problem earlier on wasn't that things weren't going my way, but that I was, like Elder Holland states, just hoping for the future to fall into place in at my advantage.
I'm not saying life has gotten any easier, less scary, frustrating or calm. But I've realized that it never will, things are going to keep coming 1million miles an hour and so I made a game plan to catch them. I gave the Lord a chance to whisper advice to me and to help me succeed. I looked outward instead of being so selfish and only focusing on how my life was going.
So! that is the key to my new perspective! I hope I can keep it up! And if anyone is having a hard time with their life, my advice to you would be stand up, dust off your knees and realize your not alone, that you can do it! :)
Like I said in my last post, this last month and a half has been such a huge turning point/growing experience for me. I've learned so much about myself and about who I want to become. As I've had the opportunity to have the time to think about the things in life that truly matter it came to my attention that I might've offended people that I never would've thought I did as well close friends. 
